Free truck parking across from the strip. Really! Sweet! Slots E-1 thru E-36, 48hrs.
In-N-Out, crosswalks that scan your finger prints. Hobo housing under trees by fence, by walk way. Also under overpass. Fond memories of past life. 1/2 mile walk to Excaliber.
Excaliber, the casino not the sword. Show tickets counter computers not working, phone number for KA “no longer in service”. $30 buffet! WTF!
Skywalk to MGM Grand via Excaliber and New York-New York. The great copper green lady. A giant male Lion. A boat.
MGM Grand. Tickets and theater all the way in the back. Smoking allowed everywhere, YES! FREEDOM! USA! Lions? Really? Neat! I like kitties. $69 for show + $7.50 for Cirque De Sioledunderoos fee + 10% tax(3% city/7% state) = $84.15.
Diego. Mexican Restaurant. Cute Hostess, $5 tip to seat me near outlet. Coffee! Jesus! What’s this crap? White sugar, brown sugar, shivers of chocolate? Why defile the necture of Jesus with such crap? Shivers? Slivers! Chips and Salsa you ask? Hell yes! Is this a Mexican, or Mexican’t have chips and salsa restaurant? 3 flavors of salt? Neat! Yum. Yes fill my coffee, then leave me alone. Food? Ummm? Sampler. That’s it? Kinda small. More coffee? Heck yes. Gracias. Dessert? Ummm? Cinimmon ice cream? Really? Sweet! No really it’s sweet! And cinimmony! $35? should have had the $30 buffet.
Girls. Vegas. Fat. Skinny. A coat? Really? Nearly naked? Really? Shoes are dumb. Especially heels. And really especially stripper heels. Show in 45min!
KA. Waiting in line. Mexican acting as an oriental acting as an ancient egyptian. While smoking pot. She dares ask if we have questions? Pick me? Single me out? Look non-chalant, act casual. Keep twirling keys. Oh you want me to ask you a question about the show? Really? Try this out smart mouth lady. Insert Texas drawl at double Texas speed. “Well I only got one question. What questions is it that we should really be asking?”. Stumpt her! Shut her trap! She’s confused! Oh look at the pretty lights! Dang she got away with it.
Doors open. Mister if you jump down at me I will beat you. Smart man. Anouther mexican, acting like an oriental, acting like an ancient egyption, acting like Johnny Depp. And he’s a male this time. Not a pot smoker. Seated. Top row. Center Isle seat. Short old lady in front of me, with big hair. Hummm, potty. Giant freaking harps! Sweet.
Show time. No camera. Small explosions. I’ve done those. Room dark. Stage rises from depths, whilst spinning and tilting slowly?!?! No freaking way! WAY!!! Wow! Neat! Fall! Pain! Spongebob Square pants? Tarzan?Misses Pots? Kitty? Shadow Puppets!!!
Show over. No oriental guy acting acting like an ancient eqyptian pirate, I will go behind you and stand by the wall and I will not exit nicely with the crowd. Oh, nice job skipping the mexican part. Chatting it up with Johnny Depp pirate, ancient egyption, oriental, mexican guy.
Walk around MGM Grand. El baño. Female in male restroom. I can’t zip my pants! Oh its cause I got buttons. Do you need help with that belt buckle? Ackwards silence. Escalator stops halfway up. I take charge cause no one is moving by sighing loudly and saying “I guess we have to walk.” People laugh, start walking.
Head to New York-New York for alcohal. Bums with guitars. Bad playing. Bad singing. Cute puppy. Puppy kisses! $2 tip. Thanks for earning it. 3/4ers naked dancing primates, of the female varity. Pub!!! Oh why is the brunette taking a break? I’m not watching the blonde. Sparkly boobs! Crying girl. Pub full, musicians taking break. Must find less crowd. Table by myself. Irish peeps sit down by me. Couples being cute. Yes I’ll take your pic. Pic it 3, 2, dramatic extended pause, real smiles, SNAP! Perfect. You are welcom. Someones calling my name? It’s the pub! No Scotch! Bastards. Bushmills 16yr single malt. Guinness.
Time to go home, to the truck. Walk back to Excaliber. Raining in tge desert? Really? Yes! God loves me. Thanks Jesus. Take more pics of strangers for strangers. A comfy chair. Break time. Belly button! No penut butter?!?! Wrong exit. Bums are in bed. Hole in wall behind truck. Neat! Explore. Not my fault. Pee. Naked. Horizontal. Text the great Matthew Grassia. Bed time. First story time! Post to FB. Post to Xanga. Now bed time.
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…The End. Music and credits roll.