So I am trucking along I-35 on the south side of OKC, which not surprisingly is in OK. As a side note; much to the people of OKC's dismay while it's the most popular city in OK, it is not the Capitol of OK. Although you can sometimes hear them whisper that it should be.

Anyway I'm running at about 68mph in the middle if the night when a 4 door car comes up on my left in a slow passing fashion. Finally when the vehicle gets beside my drivers door the windows come down and a 3 foot child is tossed all the way out the window, this needless to say startles me a bit, especially when someone is holding this childs hand while the child flops about in the wind like a . . . blow up doll???

Yup it's not a child it's a blow up doll. Well that's is at least a relief. I then notice that along with the hand holding the doll there are an additional 5 hands, connected to the arms of at least 3 females whose young teen faces are lit up by the peach-ish streetlamps. All the girls appear to be giddy, giggly, and happy with thier hair blowing in the wind.

But lets go back to the hands, they are making that distinct motion every trucker knows, no they were not flipping me off, they were pumping up and down, which only means;

"Please honk your horn! Pleeeeaaaaassssse!!!"

I being a sucker for cute happy girls, and also a fan of my truck horn easyly cave into the temptation and let them have it. In response they reply with making the "devil horn", or if you're a fan of TX A&M the "long horn" rock fist.

I gave them a couple more blasts of air horn, wave a devil horn rock fist at them and they laugh, roll up thier windows, and fall back behind me to never be seen again.

For further clarification tossing a child out the window of a speeding car is not advised. It this case it turned out ok cause it was only a doll. Please do not use real children. It's got to be bad for everyone's health that is involved.

So all I have to say to my mortal enemy right now is; "You stupid ____ing idiot! what the ____ was going thru your ____ing head! How could you be so ____ing stupid you ___ __ _____!"

Of course my mortal enemy is myself, and what did I do to deserve such a profanity laced tungue lashing? After visiting Ma, Pa, Sis, and kids I made a special trip to my truck for my coffee cup to fill it with fresh Double D coffee. Thats Dunkin Donuts, not truck stop waitresses with exceptionally, and in my opionion disgustinly large mammary glands. And no this is not the time nor place to get into that conversation on why my opionion on is what it is, so forget I brought it up.

And in the process throught to myself;

"I should grab my book bag that contains my entire life and carry it out so I don't forget it. Nahh, I just grab it when I fill my coffee."

I then proceeded to forget the book bag that contains my entire life. Which primarily consists of a few books, one of which is a bible I haven't opened in years, my laptop, which gets opened on average twice a week, some memory cards and extra batteries and charger for my camera, and most importantly the 1/2 watched first season of StarTrek Enterprise that I picked up for the super low price of $20!

I want to shove a crow bar thru my eye socket and finish scrambling what pathetic bits of my brain that still exist.

OK, so I exagerate just a little, but that does not negate what a moron I am right now.