January 13, 2004

• Hey all I stole this from SconeGrl.  And modified it so you all wouldn't get the impression that I had had a sex change.  I thought I would put it up because it seems to reflect my life as well.  Of course I being a gentleman asked permission to modify and steal.  Here is a copy of that conversation.

  
  

  I wrote;

  
  

  I want to steal your post and change guy for girl and girl for guy so I can post it on my site, I'll give you full credit for it of course. For one it seems to mirror my life and for two I am feeling to unoriginal and lazy to come up with something of my own. With your permission, BlackWolf

  
  

  And she wrote;

  
  

  go right ahead.

  
  

  She ain't much for words or capitalizing her sentences, but I won't hold that against her.  So here it is, modified of course, just click on it to link to the original version;

  
  

  There is a greater gulf
  between boys & girls
  than I once understood.

  
  

  A whole culture
  language
  and values.

  
  

  I talked to a girl tonight
  at church
  but there was a whole row of them behind
  me that
  I wanted to talk to.

  
  

  It's just that
  i'm shy
  really.

  
  

  The girls I make friends with,
  the ones that
  i've worked
  late nights
  through,
  and slept in crack- house hallways,
  or the ones,
  who I taught to drive stick,
  or I drove to school,
  or showed me how to dance,
  or the ones who told me my writting read like crap,
  and that me my vision was not of the devil, 
  or the ones that somehow got in
  without me letting them in,
  or the ones that cook better then I,

  
  

   They are all taken,
  or not interested,
  or . . . . . . . . . . . i'm not interested.

  
  

  The [safe] ones.

  
  

  Why?

  
  

  I find myself
  addicted (not attracted)
  to girls that make
  boys feel real.

  
  

  But all the boys fall for them.

  
  

  So it's not worth trying really.

  
  

  And i'm sick of saying
  "i'm moving to china"
  (which I am, I hope)
  cause I want
  someone who makes
  me feel real to love me.

  
  

  But all there are
  are
  the strangers
  you see walking
  down the street,
  or sitting behind you
  in church.

  
  

  And you wonder
  if you could ever
  find a girl who's not
  taken by 16+ other boys.

  
  

  It has always seemed that way to me, I make freinds with certian girls and they go off and marry some other guy, its not that I wanted to marry them, its just that I hadn't been freinds with them long enough to know yet.  I have never been one to rush.  Certian girls have been interested in me, or in whats behind my zipper(I actually ware button flys but that needs translating to the general public).  I am sure part of my mind and character has part to do with it to.  But I wasn't interested at the time.  Other times I have been very interested in a girl, and given the chance I would have done whatever with her, but then she wasn't interested.  I guess that's God way of keeping me for that special girl, I am just impatient.  But I will wait and I will be pure for her, with Gods continued grace.

  
  

  As far as the TM job, I have been told its mine, and I am just waiting for formalities.  They need to send me an offer, I need to accept.  Of cource the bus I am supposed to drive leaves campus on the 26th, and I am supposed to drive it.  Any of you that know TM know that they sometimes wait till the last minute, well most times, they wait.  I could end up on campus on the 29th, and they would have to fly me to where ever the bus is at that time.  So here I wait.  Impatient again.

  
  

  BlackWolf

  • 7:49 pm
  • 5 Comments