February 1, 2003

• I was going to just post this, but ShroomGirl asked for an e-mail so I e-mailed it to her, and I figured I would leave it just like that so here you go.

  
  

  Dear sherYl(I believe that is how gwYn said it should be spelled.)

  
  

   

  
  

  Well you said you liked to get real e-mails and I don’t really know you too much but I was going to rant and rave on about the French today only I couldn’t because I had to deal with other issues on the weblog, like not marrying gwYn, then I had to write a story with Patrick, only Patrick don’t know about it yet.  So I figured I would rant and rave about the French, send it to you and then post it tomorrow.

  
  

   

  
  

  So here goes.

  
  

   

  
  

  So did you hear what the French said yesterday, those slimy backboneless sons of prostitutes.  So they say “No, No, really we weren’t against the US policy on Iraq, really we were just . . .uh we were just . . .  well you know we could. . . but if we . . .”  Yea that was pretty much it.

  
  

   

  
  

  You know the French have always done that, someone comes along with a little muscle and they say, “Yea were on your side” then the next bully shows up and they switch again.

  
  

   

  
  

  I don’t understand how they can be so spineless.  You know they did that through out the WW’s, first they were on the side of the Brits, then the Germans, then the US, blah blah blah.  They never once stood up for themselves, never have never will.  Oh you say what about the French resistance?  Well that is why the French brag so much about them, because they were the few who had brass.  The few who stood up for what they believe.  They were probably foreigners.  Or inspired by foreigners.

  
  

   

  
  

  One good thing that came from the French country side during the aftermath of the war, was helmets and Disney Land.  What you say, ole Walt was an American with a mouse.  But ladies and gentlemen, during the aftermath of the war and before the mouse ole Walt was in France.

  
  

   

  
  

  Why would you go to France, those dumb lokes just learned what a tooth brush was in the 70’s and still think its ok to only take a shower once a week, and then not change their cloths after the bath, ware them another week.  Heck they didn’t even learn about indoor pluming until the mid 1900’s.  In fact during the war their were still a good number of French throwing their body waste in the streets.  Hell even the Romans had indoor pluming, thanks to the Romans.

  
  

   

  
  

  Anyway back to ole Walt, he would go out and find helmets of dead Germans, or had someone else do it, and when their were no German helmets he used old French ones, hell they didn’t use them anyway, and painted swastikas and German ranks on them and sold them to the troops returning to the US.  Made some good money for that.  Then he drew a mouse and you know the rest of that story.

  
  

   

  
  

  I know your thinking, what about Napoleon, ok although he was short he did have brass, he did some good butt kickin throughout his time, of course he was French and tried to attack Russia in the winter, numbskull.  Horses die when you can’t get them food, and they are freezing.

  
  

   

  
  

  The Germans tried that too, Hitler must have been part French, yea attack Russia in the winter, but the tanks can’t move, the diesel is freezing what do we do.

  
  

  Speakin of the freezing, what about the girl who burned at the stake, ole Joan of Ark or whatever her name was, just like the French to let some crazy woman with a dream run the country.  Yea good job there, then when she is starting to be to powerful what do they do, they kill her.  Their own blood.

  
  

   

  
  

  Speaking of blood, the French were especially bad at “royalty only mate with royalty”.  Which is where the term “blue blooded” came from.  You know what happens when you get a bunch of people to interbreed, Louisiana, yup, then you know what the loons their do with the genetic throwbacks that are to bad for even them, send them to Arkansas.  Which is where the worst President since Jimmy Carter came from.  Mr and Ms Bill Clinton.  Did you hear what the current good President said in a subtle comment about the past administration, “WE WILL NOT LEAVE OUR PROBLEMS FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS TO DEAL WITH, WE WILL FIX THEM OURSELFS”  Now there is a man with lots of brass and brains, more on brass and brains later.

  
  

   

  
  

  Lets talk about Hillary, I swear she is French, talking to dead people, bad wardrobe and everything.  Probably wears to much perfume too.

  
  

   

  
  

  Speaking of perfume I hear the French are good at something, prostitution, I hear if you pick up a “Lady of the Night” (hereby referred to a LOTN, although I will not refer to them again.) and can get her to take a bath and then only put on half of the perfume that she normally would that they can do a lot of things to please a man.  But if you can’t get them to take a bath, then you smell “French stink” covered by perfume.  Or if you get her to take a bath and she doesn’t put back on at least a little perfume you still get the “French stink” cause it is so embedded into their skin.  So you have to get them to take a bath and put on about half the normal amount of perfume.  And when you are done with her, YOU have to take a bath, and YOU have ware perfume for a week.

  
  

   

  
  

  Now you say what about the Germans, they don’t like the US policy either, remember Hitler being part French, well that is probably not true, but the French prostitutes slept with many a German, so many Germans went home with their new found beauties and walla, sissy Germans.  Oh the fall of the Mighty can be mighty.

  
  

   

  
  

  Speaking of the French roots, look at our sissy neighbors to the north.  A bunch of French people who pledged allegiance to the Brits.  You didn’t know Canada was owned by the Brits did you, Ha Ha Ha.

  
  

   

  
  

  The poor Brits have had to put up with the French for so long, and you can see the influence in the British people, at least Tony Blair has brass.

  
  

   

  
  

  Speaking of Brits who have brass I will end my ranting with a quote by Winston Churchill.  It describes my perfectly.

  
  

   

  
  

  “Any man under thirty and not a liberal, has no heart.  Any man over thirty and not a conservative, has no brains.”

  
  

   

  
  

  I’m a heartless bastard.

  
  

   

  
  

  But I got brains and brass.

  
  

   

  
  

  Want to know where brass comes from?  Ask me later.

  
  

   

  
  

  BlackWolf

  
  

   

  
  

  P.S. all this without mentioning the horribleness of the language of the French.  Opps just did it.

  • 2:23 pm
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