"I really wish I didn't hurt people, but its one of the few things I am good at." --BlackWolf
Yea so this post was going to be a real long post about how much I hate the effects of me being me, yet if I were to try to be someone else, which I have tried, all I do is hate being the me that I have become.
But after many paragraphs, most of which were either angry rants, or remorseful musings, it just got depressing.
BlackWolf
So I am always taking pics and or vids and with this whole YouTube thing going on I figured I would finaly get around to signing up and post something. So this is what I have got to start with, its fitting cause I am always being told to stop filming and I think its real funny.
So consider this my World Premier,
OK so I needed a new post and this AIM conversation with an unnamed female friend seemed fitting. I had a conversation with her last night before going to bed and taking some Tylonal PM for a sore shoulder and going to sleep. We talked about this guy who was close to getting saved but I and and anouther guy suspect he is just leading an innocent Christian girl astray and want more of her then he does Jesus. Anyway during that conversation I being the mocker I am said "I would like to get into your roommates pants, but they just wouldn't fit me so whats the use?". Then went to sleep, with drugs and wild dreams. Of course names have been changed to protect the innocent. That is except mine, cause we all know that I am not innocent, ever.
COOLGIRL01:
hmm interesting
ImBlackWolf:
yep, that I am
20:00
COOLGIRL01:
I love it when someone calls me and then gets call waiting and then leaves me on hold for 15 minutes
heheh
ImBlackWolf:
oh while reviewing the above AIM comment session, oh so long ago, while looking for the sales job that you said Jack got while I was looking earlier I also saw that you make a comment that I had missed about the pants of your roommate and the dream about you I remebered more of the dream want to hear about it
ImBlackWolf:
yea, that is fun
ImBlackWolf:
meany
COOLGIRL01:
um. sure. I think
ImBlackWolf:
I do think that the sleeping pills I took had something to do with it, and the conversation with you about her pants and me repeating it to “Bobb”, spelled wrong on "puorpose", that to but just out of laziness of not wanting to hit the delete key so many times . . .
ImBlackWolf:
breath . . .
ImBlackWolf:
I had texted Bob about wanting to get into your roommates pants but they would not fit, I once tried on a belt of Barbera, yes this bunny trail adds to the whole picture
ImBlackWolf:
breath . . .
COOLGIRL01:
ImBlackWolf:
and her belt fit snuggly on one of my thighs, so we were going to have her and her twin sister both get into my pants, one in each leg, and take pics mocking how . . .
ImBlackWolf:
breath . . .
ImBlackWolf:
large I am.
ImBlackWolf:
pause for dramatic effect
ImBlackWolf:
.
ImBlackWolf:
forgot the period at the end of the sentence.
ImBlackWolf:
I either, in my sleeping pill induced sleep, either removed your pants, or your roommates pants in an attempt to prove that I could not fit into them, I remember you watching but the butt does not seem your size . . .
ImBlackWolf:
breath . . .
20:10
ImBlackWolf:
to narrow, but it makes me think of a baby butt, having changed a diaper or two in my life I know what baby butts look like, only it was in underware not diapers, but the butt had that general size and shape
ImBlackWolf:
The End
ImBlackWolf:
You hate me now, think I am a freak, and never want to be my friend
ImBlackWolf:
.
ImBlackWolf:
Sorry forgot the period agin.
ImBlackWolf:
Really its The End
COOLGIRL01:
lol
COOLGIRL01:
that is a really crazy dream.
I'd probably not share that with everyone you know.
and I don't think it is prophetic in anyway, in case you were unsure
ImBlackWolf:
I was just thinking I need a new xanga post
ImBlackWolf:
I am aware of your thoughts of me and you.
COOLGIRL01:
lol, I was about to tell my friend LaWanda about our conversation about the thug dictionary salesman conversation we had earlier and I accidently typed "my friend crazy" instead of "my friend casey" and I can't stop laughing now
20:15
COOLGIRL01:
TOTAL accident but VERY funny
ImBlackWolf:
LOL
COOLGIRL01:
I needed that laugh
ARE YOU REALLY A CANADIAN???????? CANADA STRIPS UP TO 20,000 OF THIER CITIZENSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its true check out Fox news web site, or just read what I cut and paste at the bottom of this post, cause it is the same article.
You and or your parents might not canadian, that is if you were from Canada in the first place.
So read the artical below and keep in mind I don't have time for a real post so this is all you get.
BlackWolf
Report: Law Strips Thousands of Their Canadian Citizenship
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Up to 20,000 Canadians may have unknowingly lost their citizenship by failing to celebrate their 24th birthdays in Canada, the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. reported Wednesday.
An obscure provision in that nation's Citizenship Act — on the books from 1947 to 1977 — automatically stripped citizenship from Canadians who celebrated their 24th birthday outside the country within those dates without signing the proper form, CBC News said.
Now as Canadians rush to get passports to comply with regulations requiring them for entry into the United States, some are finding they are no longer Canadians in good standing.
Septuagenarian Barbara Porteous discovered last year while applying for a passport that she had lost her citizenship, CBC News reported.
Click here to read the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. story.
"These documents confirm you were a Canadian citizen, but you ceased being a Canadian citizen on June 14, 1960, the day following your 24th birthday," a letter from Citizenship and Immigration read.
"I cried for a couple of hours," Porteous told CBC News. "I mean, the hollowness you get inside when you find out that everything you live for is gone."
Porteous is part of a group called the Lost Canadians, a group that may be as large as 20,000 — many of whom have no idea that they've lost their citizenship.
The Canadian government has moved to fast track the reinstatement of citizenship for the Lost Canadians.
"We're trying to right the wrongs of the past and do the reasonable thing, the right thing, for what are essentially Canadians in all but name," Citizenship and Immigration Minister Diane Finley told CBC News.
You ever do something that just makes you so mad at your self you can't sleep, have you ever held a record for fifteen years and then break it, if I was an alcoholic I would be drunk now, speaking of which there is a great song by George Jones called "Tennessee Whiskey" that is a great love song, I will put the lyrics at the bottom of the page, anyway, I overdrafted my account, I forgot about a check, not really forgot, but thought I had already calculated it in and it was paid for, but it wasn't.
For the first time in my life, it was my fault that I spent more then I had in my account. I had an employer when I was seventeen take back out my paycheck one week, and I had four checks bounce then, then TM did not deposit the money they said they deposisted so I could spend it for them three summers ago that they said they deposited and on a missions trip to New Orleans, I bounced three items.
But for the first time in my life I bounced five items, five all because I thought a check had already came thru, had not. Vileness and cursing. I couldn't sleep last night, prayed and today after loading a load of hay in Cliffton, ND I called the back to find out why they did not have my Checking account linked to my credit card account, which I thought they had done three years ago when I opened the account, they refunded the fees, linked the account, thanked me for letting them know and then I paid 200 bucks apiece on each of my two credit cards.
Four hundred for my car left and I can start saving for the first of the month bills, 1400 bucks worth of them.
Trust me do your best to not break any lifetime records, they are depressing.
Sorry for be so random and spasastic with my wordage, frustrated am I, but not much, was I, awhile ago.
I used to spend my nights out in a bar room
Liquor was the only love I've known
But you rescued me from reaching
For the bottle
And you brought me back from
Being too far gone.
You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey
You're as sweet as strawberry wine
You're as warm as a glass of brandy
And I stay stoned on your love all the time.
--- Instrumental ---
I looked for love in all the same old places
Found the bottom of the bottle always dry
But when you poured out your heart
I didn't waste it
'Cause there nothing like your love
To get me high.
You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey
You're as sweet as strawberry wine
You're as warm as a glass of brandy
And I stay stoned on your love all the time.
I stay stoned on your love all the time...
BlackWolf
PS don't park your truck there, while its a fun ride down it take a lot of paperwork.
P.S. The bottom of the post is a long way down, so I thought I would start with a Pre Script. I know there are a lot of pics, they they thin out as it gets to the end, but it does make a long post easier to read and I was trying something new. It was a lot of work and I don't believe I will be doing it anytime again soon. So take the time read thru it, find out why I hate Christmas and what I am going to do about it. If you think I should put this much effort into every post tell me so, it doesn't mean I will do it, but I could be sooner then never if you liked it. I would like to get my own pics in a post like this, but as of right now all thanks goes to google.
So after to a few worried phone calls 
and a couple of shocked comments 
left by some of you think that I have a giant tumor growing out of the front of my head 
and am going to be dead
before next Christmas, unfortunately that is not going to happen. The Dr. assures me "Besides being fat, you are in perfect health." 
I did take the liberty of exchanging the words obese for fat, but its the same thing essentially.
I was referring to three 
different things, two 
being reasons for my complete and utter disdain for this now pathetic holiday called Christmas, the other one 
is do to a recent addition to my internal knowledge base.
Lets start with number . . . . . . .
Sorry to interrupt this post in progress but this has just came over the news lines Momofuku Ando has died, I repeat, Momofuku Ando has died at the age of 96 today, the inventer the Ramen Noodle
. We all need to take a moment and morn the passing of this great and influential man, he has contributed greatly to many of our lives, and in some cases the only reason some of us are still alive, thank you for your Ramen Mr Ando, thank you.
Photo Stolen from the Online Fox News article which you can read over there ----» http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,242215,00.html
And now back to your irregularly scheduled post, which was paused so you wouldn't miss anything.
. . . . . . one, its as good a spot as anywhere. It seems to me that Christmas has became more and more NOT about the birth of Christ
, but much more about selling 
and buying 
and giving
. While those things are far from bad, I think they should be done in moderation and can easily be done at anytime during the year. I am a giving person, I do it all year long sometimes on numerous occasions for one person. I have been known to accidently freak out a girl or two who thought I was in LOVE with them by doing this. I pick up a meal
here or there, I buy a trinket
I think someone will like and I usually give it to them at the next opportunity. I usually do it in a frugal manner, not spending to much all at once just picking up what I can when I can.
Todays Christmas is about going into debt 
to buy that latest gadget 
or whatnot on credit 
between the day after Thanksgiving up till Christmas day, and when that is all over a good chunk of the gifts just go back to the store,
or tucked into a closet
, or re-gifted
to someone else. All because the person you got it for didn't like or even want what you got them
. The reason for this is cause you were trying to buy for everyone at once you couldn't concentrate 
and think of what each individual person really wanted or needed
. Then in an attempt to save money you go right out after Christmas and prepay all the stuff on sale for next year. And all you do is waste money 
on left over outdated junk
that you will put in a special box in a special place and then forget
where its at by next Christmas.
Reason two, and this annoys me even more then the first reason, I don't even know why it is second, it should be number one, Christmas music, for two months that is all you hear, I have XM Radio, and not to get into my other pet peeves but this is a great example, there is one Christian Radio station that is barely tolerable as it is, its only about three quarters gay, one
out every four 
songs or so is actually good and not a carbon copy production of something else that might have made a couple bucks, anyway they throw on the Christmas music for a month and try to mix it into this already nearly sinful pot of crap 
and make it unbearable. Not to pick on Christian music but it is the worst example of an industry wide problem.
I mean how many different versions of Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire
, Silent Night
, Jingle Bells
, etc. do we need. Every good ole Christmas song has been performed in every conceivable way, classic
, rock
, punk
, pop
, rap
, and country
, all sung by at least twenty different males
, females
, dogs and cats
, chipmonks
, and plumbers
all trying to sing it in a new and unique way. And to make it twice as bad, you can double the hell by knowing that every category I mentions is duplicated in the Secular music world as well as the Christian music world. Hell I consider suicide 
every Christmas just because of the music.
I may be ranting 
at this point.
And thirdly
, I love that word, thirdly
, lets all say it together, thirdly 
over the past couple years I have found myself to be doing some limited study
on the roots of the Christian faith
, on how it was brought about by a dude named Jesus Christ,
actually there is some argument about if that was his name, but thats not what thirdly 
is all about, thirdly 
is about Jesus being not a Christian 
but a Jew
, yes folks Christ was a Jew 
and not Christian
, think about it it will get to you
.
He was raised not in england as an englishman
, or scotland as a scottish man
, or ireland as an irish lad
, or greece as a greek
, or in america as an american
, or in china as a chinaman
, he was raised in Israel
during a time of occupation by the Romans
, strong trade in those days from Egypt
, Greece
, Turkey(not called that at the time)
africa
and many other locations, all of this while training as and becoming a Rabbi
, not an easy attained achievement for anyone
. All that to say that he had a number of influences as a jewish lad
, and when he said or did something it was in the context of that life as a Jew, under Jewish customs and traditions.
A few of those customs bring up the possibility that could lead to the conclusion that the date of Christs birth was not in December
, but in the fall
. I won't argue the points here if you are interested click on the link over there -----» http://hebrew4christians.com/Articles/Christmas/christmas.html and it will take you to a very well two sided research page with reasoning and evidence for both dates of his birth. You can make up your own mind at that time.
I do suggest that you find some good resources and look at Jesus as a Hebrew, find the roots of you faith, saying that it is Christian, and if it is not then study it anyway so you can make Christians look life fools for not knowing why they believe what they believe and that you know more about it then them, you could fool me most of the time.
Now reasons one and two push me to want to not celebrate Christmas at all, reason three, it gives me a good excuse to just move the celebration of Christs birth to a seemingly more accurate time of the year, and while doing so enjoy limited selections of Christmas music that I have personally picked out, and are at the very least decent, and are not forced on me. Not to mention that I can actually celebrate the birth of Christ. The whole gift giving thing, I will continue to do it as I do now, with the exception of the big pile at the end of December. Not to say that I won't give anyone presents at that time, just not everyone.
So I went home for Thanksgiving and I didn't post any pictures. Sorry it was my fault for getting busy and not having internet access at the times when I wasn't. So here they are.
The second most coolest thing I already posted about awhile ago was that my parents got $4200.00 wrote off of the van they were buying. Here is a pic the the letter that my Parents got from Herbies Auto after they called them up and told them "Hey we are sorry about this but we just got home and our Refrigerator died the day we got home and with the new payments from that and the hospital stay we just can't make the van payments anymore. Come pick up the van, sell it for what you can and send us a bill for the rest, we will make payment arrangements on the difference." That letter was worth crying over.
That is the end of my Mom's stump. It has had a little trouble healing because the first set of nurses to work on her didn't clean the wound right. Her stump is doing real good despite that setback, they have her on a wound vac to "suck" out infection and occasionally have to go in and dig around in it a bit. Other then that it is healing pretty good.
The most coolest thing that happened is I got to see my new Nephew. I walked into the house dropped everything I had and headed straight for him, they yelled at me, "Don't touch him, he has been up all night crying and just went to sleep!" I said "I haven't driven halfway across this nation twice and not slept in four days to just let him sleep." and promptly picked him up and held him.
This was my first sight of him.
As you can see, we are quite excited about how much of a little man he is. As a side note if you are going to draw chest hair on a new baby with your sharpie, be quicker then the mother and try to not be holding said baby cause then you can't run and you get punched.
Over the next few days we had plenty of time for naps in between his "I am baby hear me fuss" issues.
My sister Mary got in some quality nap time as well.
Of course I was home for thanksgiving and everyone had all of their "food and drink" desires fulfilled. Dad even found a way to spend quality bottle time with CJ.
My other sister Sam, also now referred to as "New Mommy" is a very happy woman. Did I tell you that she has had some real problems with her "baby making woman parts" and was told she could never have a child? God is cool.
And if you eat you need to burp. This is his favorite way to burp, by folding over your hand and sitting like that, he will burp on your shoulder, but not as quickly as the fold over hand method. Why you ask? I don't know he is a baby and can't tell me, and by the time he can he won't remember being a baby anymore and won't be able to tell me. But Speculation says . . . I don't know, make up a good answer for yourself.
When I showed up bearing gifts of diapers and wipes I kept a little surprise hidden. I told everyone that I had something but wouldn't tell them what, I told them they had to wait till after Thanksgiving Dinner. Simply because it should be illegal to do anything Christmas till Thanksgiving is over. Then I told Sam I was going to steal CJ for a five minutes and got him dressed. Am I the greatest Uncle ever or what?
The original mommy . . . sorry the "original to me Mommy" also got lots of time with CJ as well.
Well hope you guys liked the pics and the stories, if you made it this far then I would just like to make a note to you all that this is my last Christmas, from here on out I will not be celebrating the holiday, I am a gift giver all year long and do not see the need to make a special point of it at any one special point in the year(birthdays and the like are excluded from that all all inclusive statement). I will continue to celebrate the birth of Christ, although I more then likely will move it to a more "historically accurate" time of year.
This is a text I sent to a few people who I am thankful for over the holiday. A couple got offended by it, I don't know why, but no matter, I may have accidently missed you, and if so then here it is.
Do you know what I am thankful for? I am thankful for that one sperm out of 400 million that was the strongest, swam the fastest, didn't get lost, and when arriving at the egg, was also persistent enough to burrow through that near impenetrable barrier, and at the very moment becoming the life of that most unique individual that is you. Because of that strength, persistence, drive and fight, you have positively effected my life. Yes that is why I give thanks.
How can one get offended by the very act of themselves becoming into a being and being filled with the life of God's breath? Maybe you can explain it to me, it really kind of ticked me off, but then I am one who makes it a point to not take offense at something until I know that it was done with malicious intent. By no means am I perfect, but I do at least make am effort.
BlackWolf
PS I have long believed that the church of today has really two great sins that make it unacceptable to the masses, they judge to harshly, and the take offence to easily.
PSS Holy crap that make me sound like a liberal, keep in mind that I believe in doing the time for your crime, being responsible with what you have been given, and in no way should enable someone to take advantage of that.
So normally my posts are filled with a lot of bull, 
but not this time, that folks is a cow, notice the Udders. Last weekend their was "Love" in the air. Some of it was still in in the intermediate stages,
Some of it was in the blossaming of a new future stage of love, 
Some of it was in the beginning of a more advanced stage of love,
Some was for the love of the Lord,
Some was for the love of fathers,
Some for the Love of friends,
Some for the love of heat,
Some for the love of Wedding Cup Cakes,
Some for the love of food in general,
Some for the love of pizza specifically,
Some for the love of drink,
Some for the loving of that first kiss,
Some for the love of that next kiss,
Some for the love of that next, next kiss,
Some for the love of taking pictures,
But mostly for the Loves of your life.
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