Well folks another summer at TM is wrapping up.

Thousands have been influenced for the force of good, and have taken an opportunity to shun evil.

Pray that they are strong, and that the right locals will be brought to their lives to help them grow.  That they will be able to hear the Holy Spirit in there lives and follow his guidance.

Amen.

And as for me, I have accomplished a few goals in life. 

One is and old one back from my beginning at Teen Mania.  I have always wanted to make a girl wet herself just cause I would not pull over.  Of course before you go thinking that I am some horrible monster who has no heart, one of the reasons it has taken me this long to accomplish it is because I do generally pull over.  Sometimes I goof around and "miss" an exit, but at those times I know of a better exit just down the road and am really headed there.

But this time, she didn't even ask, she just couldn't hold it.  She was the last girl off the bus while I was refueling at Loves.  When she came out of the store she was holding her GE shirt down past her butt, and was being real careful so no one could see.  I of course was paying attention and could see so I got my bus surfer involved, Danielle? I believe her name was.  She went and let the girl know that if she needed her bag we could get it and let the missionary know where she could change and that sort of thing.

I felt kinda bad, but I know it wasn't really my fault, but I still get to claim that I made a girl wet herself cause I didn't pull over in time.

Next, and this is much harder for me to talk about to people who I may not be close to, I accomplished all three of a three part goal.

The issue deals with being fat, well I have never really had an issue with being fat, I was born that way and have lived that way and it has never hindered me from doing what I want.  I also remember a time in Jr. High when there were some girls behind me talking and one of the girls asked another if she would date me, and her response was, "Well if he would lose a little bit of weight I would seriously think about it."  Well I got to thinking about that, and what that really meant.  It meant that she thought I was a good guy, but the only thing she didn't like was my looks, and she didn't like it enough that it was a deciding factor in her not dating me.

I didn't like that at all, and for about a day I was determined to loose weight so I could date this gorgeous girl.  But after careful consideration I decided that I didn't want a girl who was more concerned with what I looked like, then with who I was.  So I decided that I would be an undercover prince.  And once I had found my wife I would then work on loosing weight.  She would first have to like me, and be ok with me as I was, and then I would loose and she would have her handsome prince.

Anyway, at the beginning of two Decembers ago, I was visiting my sister, and was living off of unemployment, visiting friends and enjoying a four month vacation, so between running around eating fast food, and Moms great cooking I had gained a little weight.  So while I was visiting my sister in Greely I was in a Safeway Supermarket and they had a digital scale, so I hopped on and immediately said to myself, "Holy crap if I hadn't taked a ____ this moring I would weight over four hundred ponds."  The scale read 398lbs. . .the next thought was "This has to be fat, I know I am still active and all but this is way to much."

So at that time I started cutting down on what I ate, instead of burger and fries when I went out it was burger or fries.  I took smaller portions at home, and did small parts to eat stuff that was more healthy.  I increased my activity level a little as well.  I know just how lazy my ambition is, and while I can go outside, (even then) and work circles around most people, a lot of time my ambition is to low to do anything myself.  So I knew that I could not stick to any major diet, so I just went about very simple, eat a little less, more around a little more.

I set two goals at that time, knowing that I had to have three, but not wanting to really reach it.

Goal number one, get below 300lbs.  I knew that once I did that I would have broke a major psychological barrier.  Accomplished that a few months ago.

Goal number two, loose 100lbs. another psychological barrier.  Accomplished that a month ago.

Goal Number three, I set last April, when I found out how much a girl I knew weighed, and seeing as you don't tell people how much a girl weights, I will leave her name off, but she weighed 105lbs.  And I knew the moment that I found out that that was my third goal.  Cause my first two goals were so close and both for psychology, I needed one just for me.  And loosing 105 lbs would mean that I really lost and kept off the 100, not just broke the barrier and tilted back and forth for awhile.

So I have lost one girl, plus five more lbs just for the fun of it.  So its like girl and a half gallon of ice cream have disappeared from my life.

Which is really cool cause I was at a Brookshires Supermarket buying a half gallon of ice cream, and a bottle of BBQ sauce when I saw a digital scale and weighed myself.

I am now 288lbs, 110lbs from where I started.  New goals need to be set, and my high school graduations weight seems like a good spot, 275lbs.

And from there, who knows.

Some day I will be able to turn sideways and disappear.

Wouldn't that be a neat trick.

BlackWolf

 

Isn't it funny when life throws you a curve ball.

I tend to think so.  I like the way God works differently in each of our lives.  As of late things have been pretty swell in the land of Casey.

I have had a lot of peace on a lot of situations.

And for some time I have not posted about something that was really bothering me.  Not really because I didn't want you all to not know, or thought that you wouldn't care but out of respect for the other party.

And just recently the same type of thing has happened, in this case it was out of respect for TMM, and the two individuals involved that I didn't say anything.

But on the good side of that, both those things have recently come to a point of peace.  Now don't get me wrong, it does not not mean that either situation is fully over, it just means that I have come to a point of peace and reflection on both issues.

At both time I asked for and received prayer from a number of you.  That has been great.  I have grown more in the past seven months then I ever have before.  I have learned so much about God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, me(a lot of surprises in this one), and people around me.  It has helped me to see who people really are and how to approach life in the future to better accommodate and share Christ's love with everyone.

Now I was talking about this peace, and you know what one of my first prayers was after it all happened.  "Lord, I grew so well through all that fiery torment, I almost don't want to go back to a life of ease.  It seems that during a life of ease I get lazy in my relationship with you, and maybe, just maybe I need that hard road to keep me on the straight and narrow.  Maybe I can not live an easy life, maybe I always need that push of desperation, that pain in my heart and soul to remind me of who should be the most important part of my life.  (That would be Jesus, just in case you had forgotten, I had.) I know I can handle what ever it is you throw my way, heck if I can make it past the last seven months, there is nothing I can't handle.  Or so I think, I am not sure I want to pray for this, cause I am scared of what you might do, and there are times I don't trust you as I should.  Please help me grow closer to you Lord, to maintain what I got, and grow closer still."

We that seems to be a dangerous prayer, and I may find myself temporarily regretting praying it.

He seems to have brought something else to my life.  An ending of sorts, a beginning of sorts, I don't know all the details, but it should prove to be quite entertaining.

"Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees"

                                                                  -Rich Mullins

Lord you amaze me so much, save me from my own worst enemy, me.

BlackWolf

PS  You know Job had it much worse and I take comfort in what he said.  "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, blessing be to the Lord. -FRE"

 

 

 

 

 

Clarity of Association Sheet

 

 ( insert her name here ),

            Due to some inopportune on goings in the months prior the following must be presented with much haste.  At any said point in the following days, weeks, months, and/or years where I, ( insert your name here ) have interest in/with you in the area of romantic proceedings, I will communicate these feelings in a timely fashion to prohibit any assumption, accusation, unknowingness, awkwardness, or discomfiture.

            Please forward your attention to the addendums scheduled below for your own safety, well being, and/or mental health.

 

Addendum 808.1

Birthday presents are just that, nothing more.   

 

Addendum 808.2

            Quality time spent is equivalent to nothing more or less than the fact of curiosity, notice, or awareness of quantitative attributes held or found within you as a person. 

 

Addendum 808.3

            Moneys given to and/or spent on you come from my generous spirit and do not reflect any unsaid or hidden intentions.

 

Addendum 808.4

            Physical touch, signs of affection, random acts of kindness, or any other action that could be indicative of hidden agendas and/or be misconstrued into meanings that are not actual or true should be recognized as outward expressions of kindness, thoughtfulness, consideration, and respect.

 

 

Objections to the former said statements may be brought forth by submitting a rebuttal statement in written form to the proprietor.

So here is where I wanted to go this summer.  Click on the thing below and see what you think, as a matter of fact every thing that is not text in this post links to somewhere, some are gems, some are in honor of other people(for instance, there is one dedicated to Abby, see if you can find it), and some are just cause I was board.

I thought it would be a lot of fun, but the Lord thought I would be better used once again as a Gaden Valley C tripper.

Anyway the whole point of this post is to ask for your prayers for this team of people headed off to serve the Lord for little reward other then experience.  And after you have done that, if you have the energy left, and your knees don't hurt to bad, send a prayer up for me as well.

So far it has not been to bad, of course the last of GoTell crew member left this afternoon when I dropped Certa off at the Airport.  And no that is not the plane he flew in.  If you ignore the dead bugs on the windshield of the truck, its the coolest air port picture I have.

Ladies keep in mind that he is available and searching.  Click on his pick to go to his website and tell him how much you would love to marry him. 

The middle crew to leave on a trip from Texas to Georgia, left in this car.

And they were as follows, the owner of the shrink wrapped car, and yes he is single to the ladies, and taken to the guys . . . Josh Marrano, oh yea, he didn't like his car being wrapped either.

Jeff, always a great source of entertainment, and as I found out last night, a great baker of cookies.  I am under the impression that he is single and seeking as well.

And the only girl on the Team, Diana, good thing she is tough, casue all the boys out there with her are quite the harassers.

And then those who left a few days ago in a truck.

I will start off with the crew chief and great stalker of wild animals Mike Haver.

The great and not single, ladies don't waste your time, Tristan Sipress.  (PS I thought of putting clown pic up here that he would not have approved of, you should ask him about it.)

And one of the few men I can say I truly like a lot, but who gives me no credit any time he posts something that involves me, Bryan Boecker.  Also not single.  Everyone should go an congratulate him on his new, and pretty good, skills of driving an eighteen wheeler.

And these folks will be doing all kinds of great things out there.  Running lights, sound, and video that done with the excellence they posses, will result in the salvation of many of our young Americans.

God Bless.

BlackWolf

So a new post . . .  I am not sure what I want to post . . .  but I want it to be inspiering, and up lifting and wonderful . . . or not . . .

Maybe just a few pics . . .

The second to last event was Baltimore, and here are some good friends from last year.  It was a good weekend.  From left to right you have Vieve, Diana(she is on the other end of the phone), Megan, Bryan, Christine, and Shelly.  Yeah for all.

And you know how much trouble you can get in when you are just having fun . . .

And you all know just how much of a character Shelly is . . .

And I am feeling rather lazy today, and not at all energized, I have slept well for two nights in a row, and I think it is ruining me.

So thats it for now.

More to come . . .

BlackWolf

PS keep praying for me I am being . . . attacked in many diffent ways.

2 Cor 4 gives me encouragement today.

Therefore, since we have this ministry, as we received mercy, we do not lose heart, but we have renounced the things hidden because of shame, not walking in craftiness or adulterating the word of God, but by the manifestation of truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.

 

And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, in whose case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving so that they might not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.  

 

For we do not preach ourselves but Christ Jesus as Lord, and ourselves as your bond-servants for Jesus' sake.  For God, who said, "Light shall shine out of darkness," is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.  But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.

 

For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.  So death works in us, but life in you.  But having the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, "I BELIEVED, THEREFORE I SPOKE," we also believe, therefore we also speak, knowing that He who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and will present us with you.

 

For all things are for your sakes, so that the grace which is spreading to more and more people may cause the giving of thanks to abound to the glory of God.  Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.  For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Yea like you read through all that . . .

I know you didn't.

That is why it is last.

Once again,

BlackWolf

So just to let you all know, when you are being persecuted in your life, and life has no certain endings at that time, it really allows you to grow closer to God.  That has been my intense path over the past few weeks.  I am not enjoying the process, but I am enjoying the results.  And that makes the process much fun.  Kinda weird I know, but I love it when the Lord makes you love something you hate.

I made a commitment some time ago that my next post would be about the time I spent in Atlanta with a good friend of mine.  I have broken that commitment because I have been through a good deal of stress, and did not have access to these particular pictures at the time.  So upon asking Mrs. Rose for her forgivness here goes one wonderful night in Atlanta with my good friend Herman.

First off we finished working on Friday night, and were kinda tired, but we decided it would be fun to go out and enjoy some time with a few mutual friends.

BeRekah, and Alan.

Herman was on a diet at the time, and had heard that if you drink a full glass of water, it fills your stomach and you will eat less.  So that's where he started.

And heck, why not throw in a cup of coffee as well.  If you are going to fill up, you might as well get some caffeine along the way.

Herman looks on as Bekah finishes the last of the pie, with out letting him have a single bite.

Then decides to let his friends know that there are certain ways to approach certain situations.

The discussion got a little intense, when Herman broke out the Word.

To give everyone a little time to cool off I suggested that me and Herman head out to the park for a walk, before we alienated our friend forever.

Rolling around in the flowers, I told him not to eat any, but he is always trying to show off.

Speaking of showing off, I was unaware of the fact that Hippos, while obviously being pink, could also climb trees.

This shot is a little clearer, look at him go.  Herman got all the way to the top.  Then a branch broke . . .

And he just happened to land right next to this bottle.  It was close, he could have been seriously injured.  Grace of God I suppose.  SO don't get any crazy ideas about our night, it was rather innocent.

Getting the wind knocked out of you also seems to jar loose other things.

Then we saw the sign, PESTICIDE, and we decided it was time to quit running around in the park.

So we loaded up once again in the truck and headed for the Hotel.

The Hilton.

Nice fountain, don't you think?

This was supposed to be a pic of the fountain from the window up above, but Herman wouldn't get out of my way so I could not get close enough.  Have you ever tried to crowd around a Hippo in narrow hallway?

We still weren't tired so we hit the gym.  Or treadmill as it were.

Relaxed in the hot tub . . .

On our way to our room saw another good friend, Weed.

And seeing as there were no roll away's in Atlanta, and I am a rather large person myself, Herman and Tristan shared the bed that evening.

There you go Abby.

Blessing to you and Herman.

BlackWolf

PS just so you know there really is nothing going on between Alan and BeRekah, it was just perfect timing of the camera clicking as he happened to be looking at her.  But its a great shot and I had to use it.  Herman has lost an incredable amount of weight on this new detox diet that he is on and is looking better then ever. 

So first off to Abby, sorry you are on my list and IT will happen.

To the rest of you, if you didn't make it to the bottom of the last post then this is new news to you.

Currently I have a whole lot of junk going on in my life, it seems pretty overwhelming, and I have nothing to do but trust the Lord in it all.

And when I make it through this, there will be no way for me to claim to have influenced what ever outcomes comes about from all this stuff.

There are just too many situations for me to be able to do anything significant on any of them.

So this morning I remembered a couple sciptures that brought me some small comfort, so I looked them up.

The first is;

For what I fear comes upon me, and what I dread befalls me.  I am not at ease, nor am I quiet, and I am not at rest, but turmoil comes.

The second is;

Naked I came from my mothers womb, and naked will I return.  The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, blessings be to the Lord.

The first one reminds me that Job went through much worse, and I am doing prety good with what I got.  The second, reminds me that the Lord does not always let us in on His plans, and sometimes we just have to step out on a limb and trust that He will not lead me over a cliff, and if he does that he has a parachute ready for me.  And I will praise Him for all things.

Glory to the Father,

BlackWolf

PS and this all has nothing to do with a girl, well maybe just a little, but that is the least of my worries at this point.

 

So guess what?

No really guess . . .

Well yes of course the tour is over, but what else . . .

No that's not it either thing bigger and think Casey Glen Russell BlackWolf Fox, what could be real big to him?

Keep thinking . . .

OK I will just have to tell you, Today is May 13th, and seeing as I was born on the 13th that automatically makes today a good day.

But wait I said bigger and indicated that there was more . . .

O hope you are still paying attention, it is also a Friday.

So this is one of the luckiest days of the year for me.  Friday the 13th.

Oh and just in case you already left, I was born in June.

This is probably the only warning that you will get that it is my BirthDay in one month.

In case you don't know me, and a reminder for those of you who do, I love Birthdays.  I love calling people and letting them know that I care about them on that day simply because they have been trained in our current society that that is a special day.  And by letting them know that they are loved on that day it makes them feel good, usually real good.  And I am willing to take advantage of our society so long as it betters mankind.

Now that I have my point across I also think that it is prideful to go on and on about it being your birthday soon, asking for acolades(I know I did not spell that word right, but just sound it out).  So I give a few warning shots early out just to let those who don't know know.  And then hope for the best.

I have only had one or two birthdays without someone telling me they care.  So this is your chance to make me feel loved . . .

Or it will be in one month.

BlackWolf

PS while this is just by circumstance one of the luckiest days of the year for me, currently in my life I am facing a firing squad of stress and junk that most of it is undeserved, some is well deserved, and some of it is just a natural part of life.  And each thing takin individually would be nothing but all of it is coming to a head right now and stress load is very great.

I would appreciate your prayers.

Its a good thing today is my lucky day or I would be depressed.

 

So as I said two posts ago, I wanted a  post a little more happy, then you got the last one which wasn't that happy at all.

Sorry about that but that seems to be the way it goes from time to time.

This one will be happy though, I give you no choice but to walk through a few glimpses of the past five months.

But one somber thing to start off with, I listened to a gentleman who took me on a trip back to the time of Jesus, all with just his words.  This trip took me back and put me in the time and setting of when and where Christ walked.  The culture the influenced Him, the how, why, and where He talked, walked, and lived.

I have come to the realization that I am no where near as close to God, nore even close to an understanding of Him and His ways.  There is so much to learn and I am no where near where I thought I was.  I had been thinking that I was learning a bunch over the past few months, and trust me I have been, but compared to the pile of whats left to learn . . . the task is daunting.

I kinda scares me how much I don't know about the Lord.  Will I ever be able to do more then grasp as straws . . .

This simple man made me feel as if I were but a child.  I am a complete failure and know nothing.

The grace of the Lord means that I will have to opportunity to redeam myself.

Pray for my brain.

Pics . . .

So the spring tour starts with Richmond, a great start, lots of friends, love, and fun.

Oh the drama . . .

You don't scare me . . .

Oh yea, take the stare of death . . . Ha . . .

Point and shoot . . .

Guess who really broke your camera . . .

All the excitment at Waffle House . . .

All the exitement from someone who LOVES Jesus . . .

The joy of stacking jelly . . .

We wish we were actors . . .

An "A" badge for the shoes alone . . .

"I built this!!!!!!!!!!!!" . . .

Us all . . .

Thinking of Bryan in a Chillies in Houston . . .

Who can forget the Tet festival, we are in the year of the monkey now folks . . .

The first snow of the season was in Des Moines, and the tales of this parking lot will forever be secret . . .

Captain Canuk sees his first snow of the spring and is ready to save the day . . .

Thats how you park a truck . . .

Heavy lifting going on here . . .

Who can forget one of the greatest guys around . . .

Its not all fun and games . . .

Atlanta is always so fun I needed a shot, and while there my truck was so SEXY . . .

On the way to Miami, takin G home we stopped at exit 11 in Mississippi, and right behinde G,

on the other side of the interstate is where up became down, and down became up. . .

How about some of those deer ribs . . .

PS not my kill, but I claimed it anyway. . .

Me and Alan steal a pick-up and head south to Key West, we made it all the way . . .

I belive his name to be Roddney, the southern most scottish bagpipper in the USA . . .

Havin fun with the sun set . . .

PUUURRRDDDDYYYYY . . .

Has anyone else ever gotten stuck in Gulf of Mexico in a rental . . .

How do you make it go?  Where is the throttle . . .

Can I get a steering wheel . . .

Oh thats how you do it . . .

Who can forget Tulsa, its like something that sticks to your shoe and won't go away . . .

I said move it over there . . .

I remember being denighed coffee from the far side of this room because someone was in pain . . .

A quick stop at home and to Church, only the sixth time in six months, twice in Colorado,

Twice in North Carolina, and Twice in Texas . . . sad . . .

But on a brighter note . . . ha ha ha  . . . um . . . sorry for the bad pun . . .

Sac-Town with love . . .

Did I mention friends, we all Love friends who don't wreck there cars and scare the be-Jesus out of us. . .

Thanks for stickin around Lyds . . .

Franklin loves me . . .

T-Rock had to pee . . .

This makes me think of two things that start with M, Memphis and Autum . . .

Well Autum ends with an M . . .

Why can't I look this good with a gitar . . .

And Memphis starts with it so there  . . .

Dreams do come true . . .

Tristan had a BirthDay . . .

 

And boy was he Happy . . .

Well folks that gets me to through Auburn Hills, MI.

Some of the cities represnented but not mentioned were Richmond, VA.(The first few shots before Houston.) and Greensboro, NC. (Tristan on Stormy(the horse)).

I hope to get up some more good stuff.  We will see, I am sometimes bad at this.  Espessailly during the ATF Tour.

Just so you all know, life is good, and looking like it will get better.

BlackWolf

 

So you want to hear the saddest thing that has happened in the past month?

Well make that three and a three quarter weeks.

I was not able to bring about a single tear nor emotional feeling when I found out my Grandma had died.

From what I have been told she will be in heaven.  I pray she is better then she was when I knew her years ago, if not then she showed up smoking.

Ok not a cigerette either, smoking as in nearly close to hell.

She was woman raised in hard times in Nebraska, I do not fault her directly with being who she was.  But we all have the option to change and be better then we were born to be.

I mean by the sheer enviornment that I grew up in I should be a smoking, drinking, womanizing, violent, angry son-of-a-bitch.  But I am not.  I choose that I would be the seventh generation.  The one that tuns things around and starts his family off on the right foot.  I have no idea how many generations of reletives behind me were jerks, I am sure not to many.  But I will not be that way.

I will be the man to stop the crap and start the love.

Gosh all that sounds like my family is full of degenerates.  They are not, they have changed over time as well, most for the better.  If I had anything to do with it, it was mostly unintentional.  Glory to the Father for his grace and mercy.

Anyway back to my Grandma, I suppose the kicker to her loosing all my respect came when my folks got a divorce. In Casey time that was back when I was from 6 to 8 or so.  She is the one who started the lies, and tried to use deception to get my real father custody of us kids.  It kinda went down hill from there.

I suppose that if there were anything to regreat it would be that I did not get to ask about family history.  Who her folks and grandfolks, inlaws and in-law grandfolks were.  That would have been nice.  I should have taken the time to make amends and forgive, but I just never got around to it.

That she is dead, and that I never made contact, that is not where the tears come from.  They come from the fact that my heart was hard for so long that I could not cry for her. 

Tears for the lack of tears, how sad is that?

Other then that life is going well, and I am enjoying it.

Grandma . . . Goodbye, thanks for teaching me who not to be, it may be from your bad example that I got my honesty.  It has served me well.  Not always in the way I would like, but heck, if your yes is not your yes and your no not no, then who are you really?

BlackWolf