So sometimes I am good at making people hate me.

I don't like to do it, but it happens.  Of course if they would take time to listen, sometimes it would help.  But I think that even if they did that, there are those who would still like to hate me.

This week has been very bad for me.  Not really all that bad, but I feel like crap on the inside.

Nothing to do with china, my wife, or next years job prospects.

All it has to do with is driving.  I as a professional driver, with a butt load of experience, and being young and able and having a brain, have massively screwed up this week.  And lots of people, or at least a few hate me.  Hate is a strong word it may only be that they are majorly aggravated and associate my name with feces, but I still don't like it.

I take pride in my ability's and give glory to God for my high skill level of driving, its one of my passions.  I strive to do everything perfect.  But this week I started  by getting directions from someone else and not confirming them.  Then on the way to Pittsburgh I don't look at them to tell me the correct exit number off of I76.  So I over shoot by 20 miles.  That was the begining.  Once we get turned around and headed back into the city, the directions lead us astray.  We stop at a wal-mart for an hour while I figure out where we are and where we are going.  We did need to stop at the wal-mart for shopping anyway, but thats not the point.  Then on the way back to the venue we get into downtown and the street that was supposed to be off this other street wasn't.  so that sucked, we are driving around trying to find the venue, and instead of stopping, and looking at the map I relied on navagation of two able men.  We got lost again.

Finaly we find the venue.  Nearly 2 hours after we were supposed to be there.

Then becasue the team is sleeping on the bus it has to run all night.  And with that I should have checked the fuel yesterday.  But I did not, on my way to the hotel I get a call that the bus has less then a quarter tank.  I let everyone know that I need to go fuel it and that I will be back.  Some want me to wait but at the time the place I was going to fuel up was 10 min away, 10 min to fuel, 10 min back.  So I told them to take there time cleaning up in the bathrooms like they were doing, and I would be back.  In that conversation my phone cut out so it seems like I just hung up, and I don't care.

Well the quick little trip to fuel the bus took nearly 2 hours.  The access to the interstate wasn't there, and when I tried to get to the other interstate it was a tour of downtown Pittsburg, with a thousand one ways, and two thousand "Do turn this direction here" signs.  Just to go around the block so I could line myself up to cross the bridge took 10 minutes and probably 5 miles of touring downtown.  Finaly we get on the second interstate which is the first because we never were able to get on the first one, and the road to the fuel station is closed.  So we move on down the road looking for some fuel stop.  I end up in a automobile gas station that has one diesel pump and fuel.  It pumps slow and we fueled for a solid 30 min.

Finaly we headed back, its 2 hours, or nearly so.

They were so mad at me.

I feel bad that they had to wait, and bad that they are mad at me, but giving the level of knowledge I had last night, and the circumstances the same as they were I would still make the same choices.

Hindsight is always 20/20.

So I feel like crap, I know that tommorw will be better, or at least I hope it will.

BlackWolf

So life has been great.  I cried.  And if any of you know me you know that I don't cry.  Well at least not very much.  I have made myself very cold over the years.  It is hard for me to reach the point where tear come.  I have done and seen some awful crap in my life, and through that I have lost a lot of compassion.  But every now and then I get to a point where I cry.  Usually its because of lack of sleep or something like that.  At this point I had been working on about two weeks of very little sleep, and lots of work, fun, play.

I had picked up some girl from the airport on Wed of last week, and was telling her about me sneaking home to my family for Easter.  Then I started telling her about what God did for me on my way out of Colorado.  To start off with when I leave Colorado and I come back to visit I always make it known to God that I would like a little snow.  If its in the summer I tell him that a big thunder storm will do just as good.  All my life I have loved adverse weather.  Snow, Rain, Tornados, Blizzards, I just like the stuff.  Well as per normal on my way in I asked God if he could let it snow it would be nice.  So I spend my three days or so and at that point there hadn't even been rain or anything.  About 30 miles from the border on my way out of Colorado, I am just prayin and praising God for the good family time and seeing everybody and loving on him.  I tell him, "Its ok, I had a great time, I don't always need snow when I am in Colorado, after all it is spring time and it should be rain anyways, but its still to early in the season for good thunder storms."  Then I see some mist forming on my windshield.  Then I see some rain falling.  Then with about ten minutes left in Colorado it starts to freaking snow.

Now you tell me, will your God let it snow, just because you miss it?  Ha, I love Jesus.  Anyway I was telling this story to the girl it hit me just how much Jesus loves me.  And I started to cry, it was probably only about six tears out of each eye, and I was able to act like I was just wiping something out of my eye, and not embarass myself.  But it was still a cry.

But thats not all folks.  Here is the really good Jesus loves me stuff.  Some of you know its been a passion of mine to go to China and scout out for long term missions.  Well I have always been shut down and it has never happened.  No matter what I did, God shut it down.  When I took my 20,000 a year paycut to come work for TM I just gave up on it.  Not really gave up but came to the understanding that it would be quite awile till I was able to make it happen.  I just got a call from a friend who told me he felt he was supposed to buy me a ticket to and from and pay for a month for me to be in China.  Now how freaking cool is that.  When we were on the phone and he told me that I couldn't speak.  I just sat there, oh so glad that I had sat down before making the call.  My mind was racing in a hundred different ways, and sitting perfectly still at the same time.  I was in shock.  So I told him I needed some time think about it.  I still haven't made up my mind but I am looking into times and places.  One of the biggest things is that this man could use the money that he is saving for something else.  For himself and no one would be the wiser.  But he is willing to use it for me.  It is very humbling.

I sat during praise and worship on saterday night during the Ft. Worth ATF and just cried.  Like a baby.  A hundred fold the few that fell during the car ride.  I am now very confused and muddling through all this.  I am glad I am able to post it, pray for my brain.

I have a few other issues that I am fighting out with the Lord right now and for Him to just throw China on top of the mix, is . . .is. . .is . . .very . . .humm . . .can't think of word . . .odd?  I don't know.

We are in baltimore this week, talk to ya'll later.  And remember to pray for my brain.

BlackWolf

I have been so blessed with my three days home.  I was so looking forward to such good food.  You know my mom can cook.  The first evening I had a bowl of ice cream.  The next moreing I had two bowls of ceraeal, and that evening I ate out at Perkins in Sidney, NE.  The next morning I had some donuts, four small pankakes, and coffee, mind you at that that was at the prayer breakfast, which was one of the many blessings that wasn't food.  Then I worked(I use that term loosly)  the rest of the day and arrived home to . . . . . ready for it . . . . .yea I know you are thinking that so far there is no food blessings, what is he going to bring up a bologna sandwich?  Nope I arrived home to vinisin, otherwise called deer.  Yep that poor cute little animal grazing in feilds of flowers.  It was shot dead and gutted and skinned.  Then its meat was cut from the bone, wraped in paper and dropped in a bag.  Frozen and then thawed and cooked for my belly.  Now that was the only real home cooked food that I had over the three days but it was so stinking good.  Along with the Deer was biscuts and gravey.  One of my favorites.  To top of the next day I had toast, a small piece of bacon, cheese, and four of those frozen burritos.

I was able to visit my bro, and his "woman" and the kids.  Destiny, Colby, Kala.  Had a blast playing with them.  I also was able to visit the neibors kids McKala, Preston, and Kendra, and there mother Crystal.  I also visited with some of the church folk, and the most of the Chadwicks.

Although I hear I will miss two sets of missionarys at church next week.  That sucks but I will get over it.

I am about to take back off to Texas.  From there to Baltimore, Pittsburg, and Baton Rouge.  Then stuck in Texas for the summer.

Thanks for your prayers for me, and I ask that you lift up the Team as most of them are home right now, that they get adequete rest, stay strong in the Lord, and are able to use there newfound knowledge wisly.

BlackWolf

So I was on a secret mission, that is why I haven't posted in awile.  You all know that I have a big mouth and I didn't want to go saying something that would ruin the mission.  Seeing as how the mission was a complete success I have recived permission from the higher athority to release the info about that mission.

The mission was to get home for easter week.  And to not let Mom, or Sister in on it.

I claimed to be going to Florida, which at one time I thought I might do, I claimed to not be able to come home till the end of May, which at one time was an option.  I also just outright lied.

So I get in my car, after delivering a bus to the MCI shop in Dallas.  Me and anouther vehicle tag team all the way to Colorado.  Thanks guys for that, you enjoy your skiing, I will enjoy my family.  I watched some skiing on TV today.  Anyway I get to Greely, Co. where my sister lives.  I call and ask for directions to the new apartment.  She gives me them, minus one street name.  I find it anyway.  Then call her again to see where she is, claiming to want to know that street name.  She says she is at Ross, I ask her if there is a Ross in Greely, she says out by where I purchased my car, so I head out there.  I get in the store and can't find her so I call again, this time claiming to be looking for a new suitcase, she is in the dressing room and tells me to call back later.  I tell her to call me when she gets to the bags.  I hide in an aile and wait for her to come out.  She does and walks right by me without seeing me.  I call her again, she begining to get anoyed with me, (if you know me it really dosen't take too long for that to happen.) and says "What?!?!" over the phone in slight disgust, (she was on her way to the shoes and wansn't even thinking about my suitcase).  I say it sure is hard to sneak up on you, and step out of the aisle.  She sees me and goes crazy.  We hug, kiss, hug and laugh.

Part one of the mission accomplished.  I stopped by the aunt and uncles and said hi.  It was nice but they knew I was comming.  I got to play with my neice and nephew for a short time and left.

Part two is sneaking up on Mom.  She has a habit of finding out about these things.  Even when I don't tell anybody.  Now I had all my family on the west half of Colorado already knew.  I knew it would be close so i speeded all the way, like 85ish.  One A&W burger and two cups of coffee later I pull into Julesburg Colorado.  Drive by the front of the house and zip into my parking spot on the side.  Just like I had never left.  I walk up to the side door, I can see her in her chair in the living room, she has no idea.  I slam the door open like I own the place.  She spins in her chair and says "What the hell are you doing here."  Repeat the kissing and hugging from above and then head down to sneak up on Dad.

He spots me pulling into the Laudry mat, but is still happy to see me.

I know this probably sounds pathetic, like I need a girl to sneak up on and surprise, but I tell you what someday that will happen.

Two last things.

First I am 1/8th less of a man today.  I have lost 1/8th of my biggest total body wait in three months.  Now that is kick ass.

Second a pic of me at the ATF with a band called Seven Places.  Just something fun to look at and end a post with.  Buy thier cd, or go to there concert at the ATF or elsewhere.  Or don't.  They are great guys with good music and a show that is getting preaty good.  Give them a few years and you will wish you had a pic with them.

The pic liks to the site.  Or it should.  Also there is something special about or in the pic, if you guess what it is I will give you my first born.

BlackWolf

So I wanted to post about all the cool people I have met out here on the road.

So lets get started.  We will start with the team.  I could list all 30+ of them but why don't you just check out this webring, Ministry Team.  These people rock my socks off.  I am starting to love these guys.  I don't just throw that word around, but its true.

I have also met many of their family members.  And that is always one of my joys.  You get to see the breeding stock.  It gives you very good insight.

And of cource I have met and remet numbers of alumni from TM including but not limited to Kes, Daniel, Blankenship 1 and 2, Big and Little Trineagde,  gRegor, Brandon, Marice, etc, etc, etc.

I also have met some people from xangaland, including shroom and . . . Sorry I am so sleepy, no sleep all week.  There are so many people and so little brain power today.

I am so blessed by the Lord and if you all are going to be around an ATF let me know and we can meet up.  Whats the schedule you ask, check out this web site, www.teenmania.com, or www.aquirethefire.com.

I really wanted to list people and places, I appologise for being so sleepy.

This week we are at Stand Up in Indianapolis, IN.  Around 45,000 young people out praising and loving Jesus.

Its a real blast, no sleep but lots of fun.

BlackWolf

So I ain't posted in awile and I have like 500 things to post about.

We could start with stage security and the uber(thanks gYwn) amounts of fun I had kicking at least 15 kids out and warning anouther 20.  But that would take to much time to go into detail about.

We could talk about me decapitating Josh McDowel, but lets not.  He could still be bitter about that.

Or we could get into my gambling in Las Vagas.  One or two lines about that wouldn't be bad.  I won 13 bucks.  I spent 21 and left 6 dollers of merch at the nickle slots to win that 13 but I won the 13.

On a side note to that Cora, I had you the coolest little trinket from the Jimmy Buffet Diner.  Had something all about Margaritaville on it and everything.  Who ever visited my slot machine got it.  Sorry.

This past week I  had the most comfortable bed I have had since mid January.  Oh the blessings that the Lord has given me.

But the coolest thing the Lord has done latley is to introduce me to a cool old lady in Las Vagas.  Aunt Fay is her name.  She is 79 and runs around like a school girl.  A spry and witty lady who knows how to treat guests.  One a few days after we met she was running around The Strip with her nefew and some young bucks were kidding around and knocked into her.  Now she has a dislocated shoulder.   So if you have a few spare prayers send them to Aunt Fay.

Right now I am in Orlando getting the bus fixed.  Came in last night and parked the bus in a MCI service center parking lot.  Which they were shutting the gates so I had to wait outside gates for my friend to show up and give me a ride I wrote a little ditty.

So now that I am here

and it is dark and I am alone

on the side of the highway and scared

I will fear no evil

 for thou did not give me muscle and brains enough to walk

towards the lighted gas station down the road,

across the street from the clearly dangerous man selling live turtles,

for no reason. 

In Jesus name, Amen.

I also got to see my folks and sister.  So that was a blast and very enjoyable 25 minutes.

Anyway that is all for now.

BlackWolf

OK this is like the tenth time I have tried to write on here this weekend.  It has been so hectic.  Last week I drove the bus down to Atlanta from Minniapolis.  The air dryer froze up and I was stuck outside in the cold(yes I Casey Glen Russell BlackWolf Fox said in the cold)  It wasn't that cold it was only about 15 degrees farenhight.  But the wind was a howling.  I even put on my jacket.  So for those of you who know me you know it must have been cold.  I was out side for nearly 6 hours strait right in the wind.  It took me two days to warm up and then I got a bit of a fever.  I slept on the bus the night before the convention.  It was around 40 degrees out.  So the sleep was great but sometime during the night my fever broke and I had "fever sweat stench" the next day.  I was running around helping people and they were telling me that I stunk.  I told them, "Yes I stink, and I am real tired but so far it dosen't seem to affect my muscle stucture."

So we took the bus in to Dallas to get fixed and hoped anouther bus out to Cali.  Which is where I am right now.  San Diego.  On friday night we had around 4500, and somewhere near half of them came forward to make the choice to put Christ first.  Amen and Praise the Lord.

I don't say this enough but I Love Jesus.  He has been showing me so many blessings these past two months.

One example, I have been downgraded to driving bus.  Not that driving bus is a bad thing, I just enjoy driving truck so much more.  But the team I have been put with is awsome.  And while at Atlanta, I was able to grab one of the trucks and drive it to see the other team in Nashville.  We had to trade out some merch.  So it was quite the blessing to drive the truck from Atlanta to Nashville, sleep work with the January team for half a day and drive back to Atlanta.

So Genevieve(that is freaky way to spell a name) is kicking me off again so I must go.

Miss all my peeps, later,

BlackWolf

Hello peeps, I am sorry I don't always have the time or space to post.

And my posts have been very superfical.

I hope to change that soon, we will see,

So for now, a superfical hello and goodbye.

BlackWolf

I was attacked, can you belive it.  This little creature about three inches long and three inches wide jumped out of the box I opened and strait for my throat.  Luckily for me I have great reflexes.  I caught it mid air and wrestled the little thing for all it was worth.  I was getting very frustrated with the strength this creacher possesed.  Finally when I was about to give in to my death, I used the only  menuver left to me.  I bit its throat out myself, and with its blood and fur covering my tounge and dribbling down my face, and my shirt, I fell into an animal trance and devoured the whole cotten pickin thing right there.  Bones and all.

Those darn little powdered dognuts are powerful.

I had a wonderful time this weekend.  During the concert I got to break into the crowd like almost 10 times.  The first was the best.  I guy had just hoped onto another guys shoulder and they were moshing.  Just as I reached them they fell to the floor.  Both were in a little pain.  I grabbed them by the arm and said . . . ready for it . . . "Bryan and Corky said to go back to your seats!!!"  They looked at me puzzeled, and I laughed an evil laugh.  Then they fled.  It was so stinkin cool.

On the way back to campus from Houston, there were like 500 deer alongside the road, ok it was closer to 100 but there were a lot.  And they just stood there and saluted me as I drove by at 70+mph.  Not one of them tried to commit suicide.  Not even one.  That could have been lots of fun.

Well anyway I suppose I need to go find my car keys, at least one set or anouther.

BlackWolf

This is me, and I am still alive, we left Richmond, VA., and we are now in Houston, TX.  This week has been good.  I got to do minor work on the bus, and enjoy life quite a bit.  This week I am in the hotel, and it is much better then sleeping in the bus.  Next week in Minisota.  It will be so cold, and cold is good.  I love the cold.

I got to drive the bus with Jordan this week, which gave me time to get to know him better then I did before.  It was good.  It seems that Joey Papa likes my presence on the bus.  He likes that I keep it in shape and clean and make people treat it nice.

Jesus loves me and blesses me more then I deserve.  I deserve like a drop or water, and he gives me a waterfall.

I am still alive, and will update later.

BlackWolf